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While I was Dreaming
Welcome to The Dreamery. There have been a few changes, but my blog is still simply a random series of Thoughts and fantasies, examining my past and my impossible future. Nothing on this blog is a lie. When I say nothing that follows is made up you can be sure it is the truth. Even the dreams are real dreams that I have had . And all the fantasies are my real fantasies.

There are however some questions which may never be answered:
Is it possible to actually laugh your arse off?
How sick is a parrot?
Are sandboys truly happy?
And just how mad is a box of frogs anyway?

And mostly, I do have it all in perspective!
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Worth Staying Alive For
Posted:May 6, 2021 2:16 am
Last Updated:May 7, 2021 6:04 am

Even just the next glimpse of Holly Willoughby is worth staying alive for!

Someone I know has transformed their life from a feeling of hopelessness to what looks to me like a good measure of serenity and happiness.

My life fluctuates sometimes from discontent, worry, and worst of all lack of enthusiasm, to joy, energy and contentment. I don't suffer these swings to the extent that clinical manic depressives do thank goodness, and I have learned to control it up to a point. I don't beat myself up about bad days, and I get jobs out of the way so I don't have to waste time on them when I feel better! And I do feel better most of the time!

But considering my friend's story made me think: Whatever you stay alive for, make it worth it. Don't waste your time feeling sorry for yourself. Make getting through even the worst of life into a successful stage of your journey. As long as you can think of something to stay alive for, even if all you can think of is being there for someone else, or practising some simple skill, you have a chance to turn it all around.

A long time ago I read of a young man who was about to be shot as a spy after being captured by the Nazis in the war. He was a trout fisherman, and on the other side of the wall where he was to be shot, there was a pretty stream, and in it, a trout was rising. The guns were levelled at him, but he turned his back and leaned over the wall to watch the trout. He wanted to make the best use he could of his last few seconds. The German commander hesitated for a moment in giving the order to fire. He wondered what the young man was doing. And in that moment a car arrived with a general in it. He knew the young man was not a spy but just a pilot who had been shot down, and he gave the order not to fire. The young man was imprisoned, but after the war he lived a long and successful life. He called his life "The Stolen Years."
Jam or Cream and Who Comes First?
Posted:May 4, 2021 8:22 am
Last Updated:May 7, 2021 6:00 am

There is a traditional argument in Devon and Cornwall (where I have just been for a week) as to whether you should spread the jam or the cream on a scone first. Some people get quite worked up about it.

It made me think about simultaneous orgasms.

When I was growing up there seemed to be a widely held idea that the ultimate goal was to achieve orgasm at the same moment as your partner. It was even discussed in a book we had at school called "Everything you always wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask."

Once I got into a relationship, I realised that not only was this quite difficult to do, but also, it actually wasn't that great even when you managed it. Later, in my relationship with the woman I called the Lioness in my early days writing this blog, (a relationship full of the best kind of sex it is possible for me even to imagine,) I worked out that with her anyway, it was simply not as good as having orgasms at separate moments. The Lioness was perhaps a little unusual, in that she definitely got off on me coming, and contrary to the idea that a woman should always come first, she often liked to make me come before she did, using my orgasm to bring on hers. It worked the other way round too, and often resulted in one of us coming twice, or more. I loved it, whichever way round it happened.

We were so good together we could usually manage to come at the same time if we wanted to. But once we trusted each other to give, and take what we needed, we found it was more pleasurable to be able to concentrate on our own feelings at the key moments and not be distracted by the other. I loved being able to concentrate on her face, her movements and sounds when she was coming, rather than being lost in my own orgasm at the same time. I know she felt this way too. So I have a theory that the reputation of the simultaneous orgasm is heavily exaggerated. But of course that is only my own experience.

I have a theory about scones too. I mean, cream is a milk product, like butter. Well if you didn't have any cream, you wouldn't put jam on the scone first and then butter it would you? No, it would be the other way round. So I like to have the cream first every time. On the other hand, you could just eat your cream tea whatever way the hell you like, and it is nobody's business but your own. A bit like sex really I suppose.
Dangerous Backchat
Posted:Apr 22, 2021 1:54 am
Last Updated:May 7, 2021 5:54 am

Hesitates: "I am so sorry - you caught me staring at you."

Smiles: "It's okay."

Hesitates: "Thank you, but all the same, I apologise, realise I could have been making you feel uncomfortable."

Smiles: "Would you like to watch me drink a cup of coffee?"

Hesitates: "Can we do that?"

Smiles: "I don't see why not - you can look at me without it being uncomfortable, and I can talk to you and find out more about how your mind works."
A Depraved New World
Posted:Apr 15, 2021 8:52 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2021 2:13 am

Thanks to Upsidedownsky for the title of this post.

Somehow in the last post, we strayed into the world of artificial intelligence, and he asked the question, "would it be possible for a Bot to apply for (and get) Gold Membership?

I found myself thinking about the concept of state-of-the-art artificial intelligence, combined with the latest in fuck doll technology.

Whilst considering about writing this I happened to be flicking through the TV channels and noticed an episode of the Big bang Theory, the one in which Raj falls in love with the voice of Siri on his phone, and he asks her to call him "Sexy." In the end, he goes to visit "The Office of Siri" to give her some flowers. She says "hello sexy, what can I help you with? If you want to make love to me, just tell me." I still can’t work out exactly why, but I found this scene extremely erotic. Maybe it was the actress, Rebecca O’Donohue. She is gorgeous. But I am certain her unconditional willingness and her very slightly computerised voice had something to do with it too.
It turns out Raj was dreaming, but what if he wasn't?

Now bear with me, this is a fantasy post, just for laughs. I think. I am certainly not planning on buying a robot girlfriend. But for the accuracy of this post I thought I had better research the current situation with regard to state-of-the-art fuck dolls, and it seems technology has moved them on quite a bit. Unless the whole thing is a scam, it seems it is now possible to buy a real looking, talking, fucking robot that can have a sexual or a non-sexual conversation with you on any subject you want using artificial intelligence. It will even warm up to normal human body temperature so you can cuddle up in bed on cold nights. I looked at female dolls, but if you can have a fuck machine with a big cock, you could put it into a male doll and give it A.I. too I suppose.

Now I don’t know whether in reality the technology would be up to a high enough standard for anyone to actually forget they were talking to a machine, but let’s suppose it could. Would it be possible for this to be sexy?

I have spent a lot of my blogging time here examining that fact that what turns me on most is not so much physical, as the mental connection between two people. If I know you are dreaming about having sex with me, it turns up my arousal by a factor of ten. If I know what turns you on, and I can see it running through your thoughts, if I like you and you are for sex and really want me, I can’t get enough of you. I have tried to put this into words before - the idea of the willing gift, the wannabe slut who needs sex, but for some amazing reason wants to be with me.

That is what turns me on, but then I find, out in the real world, what I really want, what I need emotionally is also a strong-minded self-possessed woman. Yes, she wants me, appreciates me, but she has her own opinions and will tell me when she thinks I am getting it wrong. It’s not a combination I have come across very often in life.

I am wondering if buried inside this there might be a reason why I find the idea of a robot girlfriend strangely sexy. Of course I know, her responses would be programmed, not real. But I can see the attraction. I know what I would be like in reality though – I would either find that I hated the whole thing and it did nothing for me at all, or I would fall in love with her, and start wondering whether artificial intelligence has rights, whether, if they know they are thinking, they know they are alive!

So I can be sure I won’t be taking the risk of letting this fantasy slip into my real world. Either it would be a waste of money, or, if it wasn’t, it would be life threateningly dangerous.

But I would welcome your observations, (whether serious or humorous!)
A Life Woman
Posted:Apr 8, 2021 8:39 am
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2021 10:55 am

I am getting a lot of profile views from some very attractive looking women lately. Very flattering, except, somehow, I keep finding myself suspicious. A lot of them have short profiles which read in a similar style - something like "I am a very loving and warm (or Worm) woman, in love with life and looking for a wonderful man to share my zest with"

Then, today:
"I am a very attractive life woman who is ready to shine and slap her man."


Explanations anyone? (Something a little more creative than "it's just a fake," or "probably a typo," please.)

I mean I like a life woman as much as the next guy, and sure, I don't mind a slap. But what's with all this ready to shine business? Does she want me to buff her up with a cloth or something? I'm down for that, really I am. If only I knew what on earth was going on.........
Soapy Deep Throat? Surely Not?
Posted:Apr 1, 2021 6:20 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2021 4:40 am

I may have said this before, but I am worrying if I might have been on DateEtc - Dating For Ladies and Couples too long. In fact I think I did mention it one time when I was watching downhill skiing and the commentator said, "Good speed past the Minge Counter." I loved the idea of a minge counter. You know, you could keep one in your pocket on a night out in Newcastle. But no, it turned out to be "Minsch Canter" which is a jump on the Lauberhorn in Wengen, which was named after Joseph Minsch who crashed out there in 65.

Anyway, I am digressing, as usual. Today it's because of Home and Away, an Australian day time soap I watch sometimes in my lunch break. It's become more up to date over the last few years, with gay couples, and even quite young unmarried people regularly going on about "having the house to ourselves," but it is till fairly coy about most things to do with sex. So, to set the scene, Alf Stewart, long time stalwart of the surf club, has just been ousted as president John Palmer, who ran a bit of a back stabbing campaign under the influence of his shady new girlfriend Suzi. Alf comes into the bar, while Ryder, his twenty year old grandson is chatting with Mac, the owner of the bar, about her relationship problems.
"Here comes Mr Stewart," she says, to which Ryder responds conspiratorially,
"Just don't mention the deep-throating."


I know!!!!

I had to run it back and listen three times before I got it. "De-throneing." As in ousting as king pin of the surf club. But surely the director must have known? When he was reviewing the rushes at least if not beforehand? Mustn't he?

Or would it only have been me who heard what I thought I heard the first three times?
Love Can Build a Bridge
Posted:Mar 22, 2021 11:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2021 10:27 am

Love Can Build a Bridge

I’m not sure DateEtc - Dating For Ladies and Couples is the best forum for this, but it is the forum I have got, so here goes:

Recent events all round the world have highlighted inequality, injustice, prejudice and violence. There is a place for Government education and legislation. There is a place for campaigns educating those who don’t want to be prejudiced, but who just haven’t yet seen things from a different point of view. But as in so many cases these days governments and “society” are easy scape-goats, when the real problem is people. It is people who perpetrate violence to one and other. It is people who decide on the words of their hate speech. We are hate's Universal Soldiers.

It is real everyday people who throw their food wrappers in the hedge or dump old motor oil in the river. The fact that doing so is illegal doesn’t stop them, and the same is true of bigger crimes. Apart of course from what we pick up from our parents, what really shapes us growing up is what we learn from the social groups we form. A might have influences that set them on the wrong path. What might change their thinking is the attitude of their friends and colleagues: the censure of their contemporaries and the people they come across in their daily lives. So often instead, the desire of their peers to fit in and be liked, or at least the desire to stay safe saying nothing, allows, or worse, encourages bad behaviour. We are all, each one of us, responsible for that.

The public, (perhaps most particularly the British public - what other public do I really know) is addicted to confrontation. How else can you for the popularity of shows like East Enders and Jerry Springer? Radio hosts openly admit to inciting controversy because it boosts the listening figures. And people want to see it in real life as well as in entertainment. We all know lots of people who enjoy probing their friend’s insecurities in the hope of getting a rise out of them. There is a difference between argument and confrontation, or between friendly banter and belittling someone. When we the sensational newspaper, or enjoy reading social media slanging matches we are like in the playground shouting “fight fight fight,” but we tell ourselves it’s okay, because we are only watching. It’s not okay.

What prompts this behaviour, and why do people allow it? Why do we feed the fact that it is easier to get attention making trouble than making friends? What it is that turns into the people who enjoy breaking things, bringing others down; the people in the song who “get their kicks stomping on a dream?” Deliberate provocation should be as unacceptable as the violence itself: Personal Foul - Roughing the Passer; yard penalty / Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Goading; yard penalty. Why is this accepted as perfect sense in the National Football League, but not in real life?

Misogyny under the guise of humour needs to become as unacceptable in real life as it would be now on prime time tv. Men need to call each other out on this. The friend who still sends round sexist jokes thinking they are funny; your mate on the building site who still wolf whistles at the women walking . The sports guy who thinks it’s a bit weird to have a woman on the team.

Next time I hear about someone being racist, sexist or violent, maybe I shouldn’t ask myself “why aren’t there more laws, more police or better lighting?” I should ask who was it who didn’t notice this person becoming twisted in their views when they were young? Who failed to call him out when he made his first questionable statements? Why didn’t the people around him (not his parents or his teachers or his correction officers, but his own contemporaries,) tell him his behaviour would not be tolerated among them?

I also take issue with the current fashion to blame men in general for all these problems. This doesn’t . If we tell young men that the male gender is a problem we take away their self-esteem, their hope for their futures. Some of them will act out. We should give good men the credit for knowing that men and women are different but equal, and give them the confidence to censure their errant contemporaries.

We are all from different backgrounds, races, and genders and of differing viewpoints - sometimes it isn’t easy to understand each other.

Love Can Build a Bridge

As the worm-woman said to the centaur
How do you make love to a Centaur?
Posted:Mar 17, 2021 11:09 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2021 4:30 am

Misread typos continue to raise new topics in my mind.

This time, Violette and Smarty are to blame with their interpretations of my last post, mis-reading Hippiechick's "Hose Kind of Woman," as " Woman."

V goes on to get quite excited the idea of creatures half man half , why I can't possibly imagine, but here's the thing: She says, "but of course they are only males, like goat men."

I beg to differ. Centaurs can be male or female: the Greeks, (who invented / knew all about them) say so, although I admit, you don't see many about these days. I seem to remember they were all male in Narnia too. (If so, how do they breed? Or are they only ever the hybrid (and therefore infertile) offspring of a union between a woman and a ? (Or a man and a for that matter, eugh.)

So I was intrigued. Could there be women here on this site, looking for available men? I searched. Nothing. They must be like the unicorns in the Bulb advert - able to disguise themselves and hiding in plain sight. So I checked out an on-line porn emporium I know, and A-ha! There they were, in cartoon form I will admit, but, real live centaurs, fornicating in front of my eyes.

But something was badly wrong! Not being an arse man, I prefer my sex face to face. But surely, these were the wrong kind of women? Their centaur men were taking them doggy style, from behind. Surely, a true sex-goddess female centaur should have her vagina between her front legs? Not much use if she was only into shagging other centaurs of course, but from my point of view his would be so much sexier, wouldn't it? I don't know. Maybe I'm out of touch.

I have the same problem with mermaids. I mean they look gorgeous, but it's just not practical is it?

Thoughts anyone?
What is a Hose Woman?
Posted:Mar 16, 2021 6:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2021 4:30 am

There are Hose Women now as well as Worm Women. I know this to be true, because Hiippiechick said so.

What are Hose Women I wonder?

Maybe those sexy women I see around who wear those figure hugging leggings? Or the girls at the car wash? Or maybe a dominatrix who will whip you with a garden hose pipe before dragging you off into the dahlias for a quick bunk up behind the potting sheds?

Women who will only have sex with a man who has a knob like a hose?

Who knows about the Hose? Or I suppose that could be spelt 'hos?
What Kind of Blog Headline Attracts You
Posted:Mar 8, 2021 9:30 am
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2021 2:52 am

The reason I ask, is that after my "Worm in Aldershot" post, the first ten viewers to my blog were all men, mostly people who had never visited or commented before. Now I am here to make friends and I like it when men come and read my blog (I wish my old friend Jake88 was still here, we all miss him) but the thing is, call me an old fashioned heterosexual, but what with it being spring and all that I am really on the look out for some sexy flirty women to come and make me feel horny.

So what was it about the previous title which attracted men and put women off. Was it the worm? I suppose most women aren't really that keen on worms.
A Worm in Aldershot?
Posted:Mar 8, 2021 6:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2021 5:54 am

Today I am definitely feeling a spring in my heart. A long-time-ago but fondly remembered girlfriend of mine once pointed out that I seemed to be more susceptible to new romance in spring, and I think there may well be a correlation.

Maybe that's why I seem to have been paying more attention to the display of "members near me" which comes up on the header page here when I sign in. Some of them look sexy in a girl-next-door kind of way, and I quite like that. Of course a lot of them look a bit too good to be true, they don't have blogs, and their short profiles (the only ones I can see) are oddly worded. They are, how shall I put it? Suspicious.

But my eye was caught by a lovely looking woman today. Her short profile read, "I am a lovely attractive worm." I was confused. Then I read on. "I am a lovely attractive worm woman." Holy hell! Am I suddenly on that Alien Sex porn sight I once accidentally found my way to? No, hang on, I get it - it is meant to be WARM. Ahhh, okay, fair enough.

Except..........tell me what you think about this. You come here, hoping for a meet, or a connection, or a blogging friend, or whatever, and you accidentally call yourself a worm woman on your profile, but you never go back and change it? No, I don't think that's likely. She was from Aldershot anyway. Not only is it not really a very attractive town, (sorry, no offence intended to anyone who actually does live there) but almost the entire population of my "members near me" box live in Aldershot. Or at least they SAY they do.......

Oh well, if you are reading this, whether you are from Aldershot or not, and you fancy flirting a bit, give it a shot, I am in the mood. But be careful what you wish for.

Also, if there are any real life worm-women reading out there in space somewhere........well, I am open minded, how would it work?
Too Easy?
Posted:Feb 4, 2021 2:39 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2021 12:17 pm

Following on from my previous post, hippiechick made another observation in her comments, in response to a comment from smartasswoman I think. Smarty says she thinks it is a good thing if someone loves easily, but hip said she is apprehensive about this - if a guy loves easily, then it could be anyone, she isn't special.

This might be another example of two people meaning different things with the same words. I would say I love fairly easily, but it is absolutely NOT indiscriminate. If I love you, it is because of you, not because I was out there looking and you just happened to be available.

One problem is that in the old fashioned world we grew up in, we were told that women wanted to be in love before they would have sex. Some people are willing to pretend love to get sex. Some people are prepared to pretend they want no strings sex, but then they get hurt because they fell in love. I have learned that I am likely to fall in love if I have sex, so I am careful about that.

I notice I am always put off a profile which has a long list of deal breakers and must-have qualities describing the person they are looking for. In real life, I meet quite a few women who are visibly looking for a man to make their lives happier - I am fit, solvent and educated so for some I fit the bill. I can usually tell when a woman isn't really interested in me myself, but more what she thinks / hopes I am. That's a turn off as well as a red flag. I find that if I just get to know someone, even someone quite unlike what I would normally think I am drawn to, sometimes something clicks, and I want them. If I have an idea in my mind of what kind of person I am looking for, it is never quite matched.

But a woman who loves easily? I love that! As long as she is choosing me because of something about me specifically which pushes the right buttons, then great. I don't want a woman who doesn't really like men, and is distrustful of them. Hell, of course I know that men, me included, sometimes treat women badly, and we can't then be surprised if they don't trust us! But we all have to rise above these setbacks.

Dogs love you if you love dogs. We have all experienced that. Men are the same.
Is it Love, or is it Falling?
Posted:Feb 3, 2021 5:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2021 7:00 am

Hippiechick had a post recently asking people how often they had been in love. There were a bunch of answers, (it's called [] if you want to go an have a look. )

Quite a few of the answers said they thought it depended on the different interpretations of the word people use. I have mentioned this before, but this set me thinking once again, and so rather than take up about ten paragraphs on the chick's blog, I thought I would follow bigglala's advice and get writing here. It's been long enough after all.

So for what it is worth this is how I feel about it. (There are a bunch of old Greek definitions of the various types of love, which you can go and look up if you like, and the Stanford Dictionary of Philosophy also has some good modern definitions, but I am writing what follows straight out of my own thoughts in the long tradition of my previous posts.)

I have always tried to reserve the term "I love you" for someone I felt permanently committed to. (Because I am human, get carried away, and make mistakes, I admit it has probably slipped out a couple of times when with hindsight I didn't really mean it, but never with the intent to mislead.) It is definitely true to say that of the few women I have loved, there is not one for whom I would not cross the world if they really needed me, despite the fact that our relationship has ended.

I think that to some extent although it may originate with feelings, in the end this kind of love is not so much a feeling but a choice. Because there are always good times and bad times, and sometimes, maybe when they have acted badly, or hurt you, or when you yourself are somehow out of kilter, you do not feel very fond of someone you love. But, if you have any sense, you remember that you love that person, and you decide to act accordingly.

(As an aside, this is something people in relationships often forget. I find myself wanting to say to them, "Why are you bickering like that? You are making each other miserable on purpose, and yet you claim to love each other." But that maybe is a separate post.)

Then, to me, there is the feeling of being in love, which I think is quite different. To me, this is the glorious, stomach churning, desperate longing feeling which makes your heart dance and ache at the same time. It's the feeling you get which can make you stumble over your words when you try to talk to someone new; it's the strange way you notice little imperfections about them which are somehow transformed into their most engaging assets. It often goes hand in hand with lust, although it is not the same thing, and some scientist among you will tell me it is all down to chemicals. Which I agree, mostly it is, although it is something indefinable within you which starts your body off on circulating those chemicals in the first place.

So if hippiechick were to ask me, how often have you been in love, my answer would have to be along the lines of: oh good heavens, loads of times. Sometimes "absolutely head over heels this is the one for me" in love, sometimes "Oh help I'm going to get myself into trouble" in love, and sometimes "just a bit of a crush on someone I am never likely to try to take it any further with." I mean I am a bit in love with Kate Silverton for goodness sake! But I know most people mean something a bit more serious than that. So I think I would say that to me, falling in love is the feeling, love itself is what you do about it. A very common thing is to fall in love with someone, find that you actually love them, decide to go on loving them, but find it harder as the feeling of being in love recedes over time. Sometimes it comes back. Sometimes it doesn't.

Any relationship can be based on a mixture of these two loves in varying quantities and qualities. And most of us hope it will also include some real skin-tingling lust as well. When both partners find these three feelings coincide you have a recipe for something wonderful. Life enhancing and endlessly uplifting if it lasts, but that will break you into jagged pieces if it fails. Worst of all, when one side feels these things and chooses to invest in a life of loving, and the other side does not.

Any of these types of love on its own can also create a serious relationship, but one which is likely to have some problems. I am an expert on those!

But if you are faced with someone who says they are falling in love with you, or that they love you, or if you are asking yourself, or someone else, whether they love another person, or how many times they have been in love, then you have to know what each of you means by those words before you can begin to examine their answer any further.

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